Lost Boy Looks Back

October 13, 2023

Lost Boy Looks Back

Daily writing prompt

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

There were moments in childhood that aged me badly, incidents that put a bit of “wizened old man” into my soul. I don’t really count those, though, because they only caused me to withdraw further. I never developed an interest in growing up; it was just something that would happen, someday.

The first time it crept up on me was my first day at work. My boss “Lauren” met me at the secure lobby, and she led the way to a really nice desk that had (gasp) cabinets and shelves. My internship at another outfit had not been so capacious… I felt absolutely honored by this desk. I got my picture taken for a badge and remembered to call everyone by their first names. I was the youngest by several years, and the team was very nice. It soon sank in that I was to be taken seriously and trusted with things not insignificant. They accepted me immediately; it just took me years to get over imposter syndrome.

Since then, things have happened in fast-forward as if to make up for all the years before. The Old Man has gone out to Sea and back, several times. But there was something really special about that quiet day, that wonderful desk, and Lauren, who taught me so much by way of example. The small kindnesses of people leave a deeper impact than they even realize.

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Marian

Blogger, YouTuber, reader, and scribbler. I love classic literature, tea, and rain, preferably all at once.

2 responses to “Lost Boy Looks Back”

smellincoffee

October 15, 2023 at 7:07 pm

I can definitely appreciate that kind of situation. It does sound like an enviable desk!

My first moment of “Wait, I’m a grownup” didn’t occur until my very early twenties. I’d just started attending the Episcopalian church and was just getting to know the rector and his wife, the associate rector. I wasn’t working at the time, so I was at the church fairly often for book clubs and the like. One day some strange person came into the building talking, and my instinct was to shield myself with this little priest-woman because she was The Wise Adult, but at the same time I noticed she was trying to shield herself with ME, because I was the 6 ft dude, and then I realized there was a role (The Protective Man) I was now old enough that I was SUPPOSED to be filling, but wasn’t because I was still not out of the habit of automatically deferring to people older than me. I’d grown out of a lot of that from 19-22, but her position as a wise authority figure made that cloudy.

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1. Marian
  
  October 16, 2023 at 9:03 am
  
  That’s a sweet story! 🙂 It’s like me and my brother… he’s significantly younger, but I often look up to him now (literally and figuratively).
  
  That got me thinking… lately I’ve been contemplating the concept of respect to elders, which exists in Asian culture and to some extent in American culture as well. A lot of older people are upset at their children and grandchildren, but we often only hear their side of the tale. I had an experience recently with an elderly person who acted very entitled and difficult, in spite of the already generous respect I had shown them up front. I don’t feel like respect should be unconditional, but it seems a lot of people associate age alone with merit.
  
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About Me

Hi, I’m Marian—I talk about classics, history, and other books on this blog, as well as on YouTube.

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